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Citizen complaint of the day: The Prius-hating turkey of Appleton Street
By adamg on Tue, 02/25/2020 - 8:34pm
Today, we jump across the river to Cambridge for this complaint from Appleton Street:
This turkey has been pounding on this car since this morning. Scratches and dents all over. No idea who’s car it is, but it’s in bad shape.
The Cambridge Animal Commission responded:
Thank you for taking the time to report this issue. We are currently in turkey mating season. Male turkeys see their reflection in cars and often think it is another male turkey. Prompting them to go after the reflection. Unfortunately, the Cambridge Animal Commission will not deal with nuisance wildlife. If the turkey becomes a public safety issue the Department of Fish and Wildlife will come and @#$% the situation. For further information on turkeys and other Cambridge wildlife you can go to Mass.gov or Cambridgema.gov or call the Cambridge Animal Commission directly at 617-349-4376.
Ed. assumption: We're going to assume the Cambridge Animal Commission did a typo rather than expressed extreme outrage at the Department of Fish and Wildlife there.
H/t Chris D.
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Comments
That a real local
Not a Subaru/Prius ding dong.
I’d buy him a pint of cornmeal.
Hell...
... of a typo.
Auto-bleeping software gone amok?
Original word was probably "assess," typo'd as "asses," which then got auto-bleeped by software.
n/t
Then what is it you’re paid to do exactly?
Pick up lost pets?
Pick up lost pets?
That is not exactly what they're paid to do
According to their website:
https://www.cambridgema.gov/Departments/animalcommission
They look after the animals health and well being. The turkey in question is having a good time and looks healthy so they're not trying to harsh his vibe.
A tarp would prevent that.
City Turkeys compete with invasive rock pigeons for resources. They provide more benefit to residents than on street parking. As annoying as native wildlife can be, we need them.
Any dark colored car which
Any dark colored car which shows reflections better than the lighter ones will be considered a threat. Let's not wash our cars until mating season is over.
Done.
And done.
Does insurance cover that?
As vandalism? It would have to be comprehensive insurance.
Farmers would almost have to
With a name like that, bum-ba-bum-bum-bum.
Yup, but you have to pay the deductible
.
Not necessarily
If you identify the perpetrator, you can file a civil suit.
“Next on the docket,
Jones vs. Hellbird, small claims case #4869374. Plaintiff alleges damages in the amount of—wait, what’s that? Who let those birds in here? What the hell is a “Turkey Liberation Front” and why does that bird have a banner from them? Why’re they—oh god, no, it’s everywhere!”