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Here's your chance to drain the entire Eastern Seaboard electrical grid
By adamg on Sat, 02/23/2008 - 12:11am
Miss von Schtoop informs us that Dominic Luberto, the Jamaica Plain guy who lights the way for returning spacecraft during the Christmas season, has put the Castle up for sale:
Single Family Property, Area: Jamaica Plain, Approximately 0.7 acre(s), Lot is 30927 sq. ft., Year Built: 1897, Parking space(s): 4, Swimming pool(s), Basement, Dining room, Laundry room, Hardwood floors
All yours for just $2.2 million.
The Castle in more sedate colors:
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Comments
Back in my elementary school
Back in my elementary school days, there was a switch on an otherwise blank wall marked with a sign "Do not turn off this switch for any reason!", and a rather ominous red light that glowed constantly for my entire time there.
None of the staff or faculty knew what the switch actually controlled. At first, I thought it might have been connected to the massive rotating red emergency light hanging in the middle of the school's office, but eventually some kids decided to flip the switch and the light didn't come on. In fact, no one knew what made that light come on. In the eleven years that wing had existed, the light had sat there, looming over everyone, with no indication of what it was supposed to indicate. It was a source of subtle angst. It was obviously important, but apparently you were just supposed to know what to do the day it finally came to life. If it ever did. I wouldn't be surprised if the staff is still waiting, and wondering.
But back to that switch and the mischievous kids who finally gave into the temptation to just flip it already. Turning the switch off did nothing. Nothing that anyone ever noticed anyway. The ventilation system stayed on, the lights didn't go out, the refrigerators in the cafeteria didn't shut down. It was as if the thing had been put there as some kind of joke.
I'm sure that the post-sale Arborway Castle will have such a switch. Or at least I hope it does. Marked-off with a sign warning against the nonspecific, yet implicitly ominous consequences of touching it. Some day, some time when the exploits of Dominic Luberto are little more than a memory, someone is going to give into that temptation we all feel when we're told we cannot, but not why not. The same feeling that consumed Tom Hanks in Joe Verses The Volcano as he stared at the sign "MAIN DRAIN - DO NOT TOUCH!" for years on end.
And Nstar, or whatever conglomerate owns the grid at the time will have fallen into complacency. Tales of hundreds of thousands of Christmas lights will be dismissed as the delusions of men and women who have been exposed to burned insulator fumes one too many times. Equipment installed to handle the once-massive loads will have been replaced by cheaper equipment intended for the normal use patterns of the neighborhood.
On that day when willpower finally fails, I can only hope that the temptation to see what something does is quickly supplanted - as it often is - by the nonspecific guilt of "Oh no! What did I just do!" before the entire electric grid collapses in spasms of blown wires, flaming transformers and irate customers as thousands of lights come back to life. Their purpose, and the purpose of the switch, now painfully clear.
No Stick Figure in Peril?
There should have been a stick figure in peril to illustrate what happens when that switch is thrown.
Of course, a certain parochial mentality in these parts would argue that explaining consequences to students merely tempts them, where fear is supposed to keep them in line (extensive statistical evidence to the contrary).
This gets an award for best
This gets an award for best comment made to a blog post in Feb.
I thought it would be fun to
I thought it would be fun to tie together a whole bunch of random tangents in a semi-lucid manner. ;)
Bravo!
Bravo!
But will he chuck in all the
But will he chuck in all the various and sundry lights if you meet the asking price?
Crown, too?
Not only the lights, but will he throw in the crown on top, too?
One selling point for the property is that it already has updated electrical wiring to the grid.
Among the listed exterior
Among the listed exterior features: "Decorator lighting." :D
Thank goodness this major
Thank goodness this major headache will be leaving the city
the man who dares to be
the man who dares to be different is always in danger from the mob that demands uniformity.
I'd hate to be on his grid sector
You better believe that NSTAR has drawn a circle around this property and turns off the power there FIRST when it comes to load shedding. That means lots of power outages if you happen to be his neighbor.
Don't expect the sale to change that anytime soon. The grid operators don't necessarily monitor Zillow.
tempest, meet teacup
Load shedding involves much larger areas and industrial consumers, not residential. It is not done in the winter, when peak loads are much lower than in the summer (when he's not running the lights...) Also, the lighting load is pretty insignificant in a densely populated area like Boston.
Your average electric clothes drier, for example, is anywhere from 3kW to 6kW...ovens are around 6kW too. He'd have to put up about 12000 strand bulbs to match what happens when you throw a load of wet clothes in the drier.
Nstar reportedly upgraded a transformer in his neighborhood. They don't give a damn as long as they get paid, and paid they are.
It's all the wife's fault
The Globe interviews Luberto on the sale:
And while he'll take the next two years off from lighting, he vows that in 2010, wherever he is, he'll come back with one million lights. The Globe notes he owns seven other properties in Boston. The city assessors' office shows they're in JP, Dorchester and East Boston.
Best post yet
Karl on Listed as Questionable: