Sodden

You have your World Series cap, your World Series t-shirt, your World Series banner flying proudly from your porch. You've got the pictures of Ortiz at the victory parade and the book by Stephen King and that other guy. You even bought one of those Brockton Rox Curt Schilling bobble-ankle dolls. But your life still isn't complete. Until now. Because now you can own some Fenway Championship Sod - small pieces of sod that the Sox ripped up last year (remember that whole irrigation project?) and secretly transported to a Rhode Island turf farm (Rhode Island has turf farms? I thought they only grew clamcakes):

The sod, which is currently available exclusively to Red Sox Nation members, will be cut into 18" x 9" rectangles and can be purchased for $150 (plus 5% sales tax).

Damn! I knew there was a reason I should've joined Red Sox Nation! Now I'll have to content myself with the sod strips at the West Roxbury Home Depot. True, those only cost about $2 for four-foot-long strips, and they're only available early on Saturdays, but they turn the same beautiful shade of brown I bet Fenway Championship Sod would turn if planted in our weedarium yard. Hmm, but what's next? How about a monthly service (say, $100 a month) where somebody from the Fenway groundscrew comes and mows your bit of sod to make it look like a pair of socks?