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Saugus school-committee member charged with beating elderly man with frozen fish fillets
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Comments
Smells fishy to me...
Some of these appointed officials, I don't know who drug them in.
It's a shad situation
That was a really crappie thing to do.
I wonder if it was the same guy?
Ha ha ha
I totally thought of this, too! I bet a lightly fried fish fillet wouldn't hurt as much as a frozen one.
Great Story
Yup, nothing like a little violence when volunteering to help veterans.
My favorite quote from the article:
See, if it was me and I suspected someone might have a gun, I wouldn't stand around hitting them.
You HAVE to come prepared
Never bring a frozen fish filet to a swordfish fight.
That's what I always say.
Or even a trigger fish would have been better.
Take it to court!
I really hope this one goes to a trial, rather than a plea bargain. Mostly because I want to see the DA try to prove to a jury that "deadly weapon" is a category that includes frozen fish fillets. (Relevant cross-ex: what if they were just refrigerated? How about chicken nuggets? What if I just wielded a 30-pound grouper and used it to smack somebody upside the head?)
I thaw a threat
Can we put the fish on the stand?
I can see a Taiwanese news animation of the reenactment now.
Dahl story
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb_to_the_Slaughter
Easy to prove
Basically, if you can prove you can do serious bodily harm with the thing, it's "a dangerous weapon."
Slapping somebody with a fresh fish may be a Three Stooges routine, but flash freeze that thing and hit somebody in the head with it, yeah, that's assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Same with shoes - you don't normally think of them as dangerous weapons, but stomp on somebody with them and yes, you're going to be charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, shod foot.
More than Stooges
Actually I think Python might be the better fish slapping comedy reference.
There's another
dead fish on the landing.
Assault and batter
I see what you did there...
Only not intentionally (well, not consciously)
I don't know why, but I often have a problem writing "assault and battery," I leave the y off for some reason. As witty as assault and batter is in this case, I feel compelled to fix it.
Turn up the heat
Once the police turn up the heat on this case the accused will begin to wilt. The rock hard presentation will soften and the slimy exterior will become apparent. He will bend until it is clear his lack of backbone allows him to spill his guts. Under the heat of the hot lamps he will cook until he is good and done. The cops will eat up the evidence until it turns into a shitshow.
My plea? Not gill-ty. A
My plea? Not gill-ty. A speedy trial date without filet please.
SAW-GUSSSS!!!!
grin-cramps!
They both come off as haddock slappers.
Though its thoughtful of the school committee member to both hit his geriatric big mouth opponent and offer him cold compress for the impending bruise at the same time.
Only slightly relevant
I always laugh recalling a skit on the old Big Mattress show on WBCN where they referred to Mrs. Paul's Home for Battered Fish.
Give him back that filet-o-fish, give him that fish... oow
What if it were you, making that 9-1-1 call?
If it were you with that summons, you wouldn't be laughing at aaaalllllll!
(Sorry, had to go there.)
Saugus seems like a political
Saugus seems like a political hot potato. I moved there last summer and in an effort to learn more about the town, I joined a facebook group about the Wheelabrator mess.
After a bit, I casually happened to mention I'd love to hear what happened with all the recalled Selectmen/women the prior year. I was suddenly asked if I vote, people were talking about me on facebook like I wasn't there, thinking I was some kind of "plant".
I have since been banned from the stop Wheelabrator facebook group. Not sure what I said but there's are obviously a lot running under the surface. I know they've had problems in the past, a librarian that stole hundreds of thousands of GE grants to the library, etc., but it's a nice town from what I've seen so far. Everyone I've met have been friendly and welcoming but there's obviously a lot of history like this fish slapping episode.
Saugus can be pretty crazy.
Saugus can be pretty crazy.
My first job was covering their Select Board meetings and I'd get phone calls in the middle of the night directing me to look at anonymous forums where people accused the selectmen or town manager of various forms of impropriety -- all impossible to verify, of course.
It was pretty sad.
Every town has them
http://medfordinformationcentral.blogspot.com/ is Medford's resident lunatic whackjob.
Joe Vig makes your typical conspiracy theorist look lucid. He even has his own "inside jokes" which are entirely self-referential within his blog.
Seems like every city has these crazies - some are just louder than others.
We're all aware of who Arlington's is.
Saugus...
...bringing new definitions to the term "shit-show."
shocking footage of the attack
fish fillet?
That shit cray
Right to bear fish
We hear stories like this every day, of someone assaulted with a torrent of large frozen fish products, but when a law-abiding citizen applies for a permit for low-capacity, low-caliber fish stick concealed carry, he gets stonewalled.
I tell you, if everyone packed fish, that criminal aggressor would have gone down in a hail of batter-fried fish balls before he could harm an innocent.
Oh the humanatee
What in cod's name was he thinking?
Hoping the scales of justice prevail
and that Graney can pick up the Pisces of his life.