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Chelsea man charged as Virgil Starkwell wannabe
By adamg on Mon, 12/12/2016 - 7:22pm
Federal authorities today announced the arrest of an alleged bank robber they'd dubbed the Spelling Bee Bandit because his notes were so poorly written.
During each robbery, the man handed the teller a note with the word “ROBERY” or “ROBERT” demanding cash.
Jason S. Englen, 34, was charged with the robberies of: TD Bank in Arlington on Oct. 31; TD Bank in Reading on Nov. 5; Salem Five in Burlington on Nov. 7; and TD Bank in Peabody on Nov. 13, the US Attorney's office reports.
Englen was already in custody on unrelated state charges when arrested for the bank robberies.
Innocent, etc.
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Comments
Robert? Robert's Not Here...
"Sorry, sir, but Robert doesn't work at this branch anymore. Maybe try our Allston location?"
Writing a well-crafted robbery note these days is like playing
pub trivia: most Millennials can't begin to do it without resorting to their phones.
Least useful skill in the modern world: being able to remember obscure facts without technological help. My team of olds still enjoys the sweet satisfaction of beating the young cheaters in about three games in ten despite the handicap of scrupulously keeping our phones in our pockets.
The good news is that the most blatant teams of cheats tend to win one, loudly high-five each other, and then don't come back. I like to think they wake up the next day, look at their $25 prize, and realize the hollowness of a pub trivia victory won on surreptitious Googling.
Some youngsters are still capable of shame. That's hopeful, right?
Millenial?
34 is a bit old for that.
Not really....
"Millenials" is used to define a pretty broad generation, born between 1980-2000. 34 is on the "old" end of the spectrum but within the limits.
Source- Goldman Sachs
Here's your award!
I hereby award you with the prestigious "Most tangential reply to the original post" award.
I seriously doubt that
Google has a tutorial on "How to write a bank robbery note." Although I'm sure MS Word would pick up the errors in a spelling check..
I guess the cello career didn't work out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4smgVpcFMp8