Remember the last pitcher Shank called the big lug?

Today's column reminds Cyn why she can't stand the CHB, starting with him insulting, again, Ortiz and building up to blasting the Sox for the "hyporcrisy" of honoring Mike Lowell:

CHB, finding ways to insult absolutely everyone he writes about for centuries.

Shank writes:

Many fans and folks in the Sox organization are disgusted by how this has unfolded.

OK, who slipped and talked to him while under the influence?

Who knew there was somebody the CHB hates more than Curt Schilling? Or that Shankapotamus had a medical degree?

I know the coin of the Web realm is the hyperlink, but no, I refuse to link to Dan Shaughnessy's slap upside the head of Patriots fans today. It's just too annoying. For some reason, Globe editors felt it important to use valuable space on the front page to let Shanko tell us to stop acting like spoiled brats and get over our hope the Patriots win today. Bonus points for a stupid Woodstock reference (yes, Dan, we get it, you're old enough to remember Woodstock, even if you were too busy at clown school to go).

Shank shanks Randy Moss.

During yesterday's painful Sox loss, Tim McCarver, when he wasn't busy mispronouncing Massachusetts place names and just being Tim McCarver, kept blathering on and on about how Sox fans felt about stuff, as if he actually talks to Sox fans.

Today, Dan Shaughnessy does the same shtick, writing that:

Red Sox Nation is beaming over the news of Manny getting slapped for 50 games for using a banned substance.

And this time, it's professional. Jerry Gutlon, author of It Was Never About the Babe: The Red Sox, Racism, Mismanagement and the Curse of the Bambino, has joined the roster at Dan Shaughnessy Watch because Shaughnessy has gone public with his whining about his "unfair" treatment in the book:

Why did Tom Brady have a rotten season? Why won't he be the same when he returns in August? According to Dan Shaughnessy, it's because he's gone soft. And he hasn't gone soft by sniffing wildflowers and professing his love for kittens in meter and rhyme; no, the real reason is because (and please make sure you're sitting down before your eyes behold the startling truth) Gisele Bundchen was feeding him during their Mexican vacation.

And, of course, what would a CHB column be without some 1960s-era song lyrics? And what would a Shank column that isn't about the Sox be without a Sox reference (quick: Who else thought Vesa Toskala's stint was "shorter than a Tim Wakefield playoff start"?) Dan Shaughnessy Watch provides the painful details.