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Woman whose husband was murdered seeks to open Boston's first 'trauma spa'
By adamg on Mon, 02/03/2020 - 9:28am
Scope Boston interviews Mary Franklin, who is trying to raise $700,000 to open a spa aimed at people whose loved ones - like her husband, Melvin, in 1996 - have been murdered.
After feeling so much better herself after a visit to a spa while on a trip to Florida, she began fundraising for a trauma spa in Roxbury, Dorchester or Mattapan.
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I’m sure she means well.
But all I could think was how trivial it makes her husband’s murder seem if a spa visit makes it all better.
Really?
I don't think she said anywhere that it made it "all better", just that it made things more bearable.
Sometimes compassionate touch can be supportive. It breaks down the feelings of isolation, and if someone is working through court issues and estate issues and finding money to take care of children issues, it can just provide a nice "me" break!
Paid for compassionate touch.
I get paid for compassionate smiles from waitstaff.
Compassion is for sale everywhere. Like junk food.
You probably think this is trivial too
There are various entertainment facilities, sports organizations, recreational facilities, etc. that occasionally offer a special day for people who have been traumatized. I've seen it done for veterans, for children of 9/11 victims, etc. If you have never dealt with trauma, you might be inclined to see this as trivial, but the message is not "this will make it all better". It's that for people in this situation, so much of their lives are misery, and when someone extends a kindness of this sort, it can help a lot. It does nothing whatsoever to trivialize the problem. It does nothing to "fix" their sorrow and grief. It can put them in a place where they feel cared for, that their happiness matters - and sometimes, strangers are the best people to do that.
I think it was Blanche DuBois ...
... who hade a better take on the kindness of strangers.
Or maybe it was Marie Antoinette.
Did you wake up this morning...
...and decide to be a dick, or is this just how you are every day?
That's because you don't understand it.
And by the two comments on this topic alone, I'm going to guess you never will.
Best of luck, Lee
Having experienced trauma....
.... in Roxbury I’d trade you a compassionate rubdown for citizen and non citizen oriented city polices, affordable legal representation and oversight of police any day of the week.
Yup.
You're just a dick. And completely clueless on this subject.
If you have in fact experienced trauma, I'm sorry that you didn't learn from your situation, and I'm sorry that you're so determined that it can do no possible good to any person that you feel the need to shout down anyone who has something positive to say about it.
Did you wake up this morning...
... craving a pedicure from the Pope? Easter is coming soon. Maybe you’ll win that lottery. Best of luck!
Maybe you'll wake up
. . . someday not being a dick, but I doubt it.
In the meantime, please be quiet or go away.
Is trauma
in Roxbury different or distinct from trauma experienced elsewhere? Just curious about pointing out the where.
Good question.
I don’t know the answer. Would have to ask the woman looking to raise money for this why she specifically chose Roxbury, Dot and Mattapan.
If you haven't read the
If you haven't read the article, you're not obliged to post.
If you read the article, she never says ...
.... why she chose Roxbury, Dot and Mattapan. She only says only that she wants to provide these questionable services to Afro Americans with PTSD so presumably that’s where she expects to find them.
$700,000. would go a long way for an established and well respected non profit such as CityLife/VidaUrbana or Boston Legal Services or any other organization genuinely working towards systemic change to end homelessness due to eviction for profit, mortgage fraud and other schemes for exploiting the poor and working class in all neighborhoods of Boston and for all ethnicities. Winning the war on poverty and the causes of PTSD will bring lasting relief to those already suffering and prevent future cases. Reiki, sound therapies, and the other New Age hooha sound more like hand me downs from the rich and self absorbed who have moved on. Lots of gigs for those outdated providers.
This woman seems well meaning but that’s not enough. What qualifications does she have to see that donations actually benefit the people she says she wants to benefit? She gives no indication of being a competent director. Rather she seems to be being directed by a fund raiser and friends. Exploited herself possibly.
Perhaps Bob Kraft, who shares her enthusiasm for Florida spas, will share with her handlers some of the millions he makes off of exploiting black youth and leaving their friends and family with PTSD when they begin suffering from repeated concussions.
It's quite impressive that
It's quite impressive that you're so concerned with her qualifications and making sure that her future clients get all the care and assistance they really need. Have you considered founding your own charitable organization to fill in the gaps?
Did you actually say...
..."Afro Americans"?
God, the troll stink is thick in here.
Yup. Troll. Ignorant hateful troll. Go stink somewhere else.
Read the article.
Those are her words.
^ agreed
It's right there in one of the linked articles.
Woof woof
Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof.
that ain't no woof
that's an air raid siren
I think what she’s doing is a
I think what she’s doing is a beautiful way to remember her husband and help other people who are grieving. A spa day does not fix all of it but when you’re so deep and grief you have to remember to take care of yourself and sometimes taking care of yourself in the day at the spa. Don’t shit on someone’s beautiful idea just because you don’t understand it. I think what she’s doing is a beautiful way to remember her husband and help other people who are grieving. A spa day does not fix all of it but when you’re so deep in grief you have to remember to take care of yourself and sometimes taking care of yourself means a day at the spa. Don’t shit on someone’s beautiful idea just because you don’t understand it.
Sounds like a wonderful idea
When we're in the midst of dealing with trauma, it can be so helpful not only to have some kindness but to experience it in the company of others who understand what we're going through. Even if it's only a couple of hours of respite, the effects linger.
Good luck to Franklin!
Bless her heart
God bless this woman and her work to bring healing therapies to trauma survivors often forgotten.
Here's the link to the Trauma Spa if anyone wants to read more about it: https://sites.google.com/view/trauma-spa/home
Grief
Is experienced differently (and yet similarly) by everyone. This is a great offering that I hope provides for those going though their own grief.